i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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