Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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