i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
