we made out on top of his cat.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
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You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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