Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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