I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
