tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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