im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
