Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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