I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
