Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
