At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
