would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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