its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
