we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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