so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just invented taco cereal.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
