Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
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She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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