You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize