Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they're like a gay fantastic four
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
