So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
