Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i believe in u and ur pee
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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