pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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