Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
