so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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