Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
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i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
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Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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