Kiss
Puke
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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