btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
