It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
