Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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