Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
