I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
