Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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