I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
