so that wasnt chicken after all
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
