I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The adults are the big ones right?
Congratulations! We have a period
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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