i think i have herpe
just one?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
