do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
