Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
