After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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