You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
