a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
