I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
