Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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