i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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