the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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