If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
