My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
