At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
