im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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