my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize