You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Randomize
