She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
