me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
