I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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