if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
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He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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