Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
