My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
