Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
