maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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