Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
