Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
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