Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
