you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
