Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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