I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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