Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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